Bones to Pick

I finally figured out why this blog has sucked so bad for 5 or 6 months now: It’s because I don’t interact enough with misogynistic, totalitarian, ass-faces. I am no longer consistently confronted with eccentric, drooling, morons. Ever since having taken a new job, I’ve dealt almost exclusively with competent, thoughtful people operating in an overwhelmingly professional manner. And it's single-handedly destroying whatever creative impulse I once had. I need to get a part-time job with some idiots.

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Don’t get me wrong, I can’t stand Brett Favre. I used to love him. Then he retired, unretired, retired, unretired, looked like a complete wiener in a slew of Wrangler commercials… And now I hate him. But how in the hell did he play a decent portion of last season with a torn bicep and partially torn rotator cuff in his THROWING ARM AND SHOULDER?! Moreover, how highly must Minnesota regard Sage Rosenfels and Tavaris Jackson in order to sign a 39 year-old with 350,000 miles on his body with a PARTIALLY TORN ROTATOR CUFF? Not highly you say? Oh. I know Favre is tough as nails, but how do you make it through a 17 week NFL season as a quarterback with a PARTIALLY TORN ROTATOR CUFF? Anyone want to take my action today that Favre doesn’t finish the season on the field?

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What's wrong with being stoned and topless like the Noxema girl and that tool from Grey's Anatomy? Before you gleefully watch footage like this, I hope you realize that every time footage of something this awesome is leaked to the press, it incrementally reduces the likelihood us regular people will be able to film our own sexual encounters moving forward. It is in this vein that the paparazzi impinging on "famous" people's right to privacy [film sexual encounters] will soon eclipse national health care as the most critical issue facing our great society. Quote me.

Last time you asked the love of your life or the flavor of the week if you could film the next time you got your biz on, what was his or her response? Did it include a reference to all the goddamn leaked porn footage all over the interweb that was never meant for mass consumption? If it didn't, it could have.