What?

During these times of economic, political, social, and environmental instability, I think I've been losing sight of what's truly important. Having recently realized I have the capacity to take notes on my Dingleberry, I've launched an absurd campaign intent on figuring whether I have noteworthy ideas that usually lay dormant until they're forgotten entirely. I don't. But I'm going to share them anyway.

"Customized hooded." I have no idea what that means. Moving on.

"Gang of Four." I'm pretty sure this is a reference to the band and not Chinese Communist Revolution. I think I'm supposed to listen to them. I'm also pretty sure I know who told me to.

"Slim Pickens." Desperate to bestow this moniker upon a close friend, Moose and I decided instead this would make a good name for our future dog. At this juncture our only real options are Michael Jackson and Slim Pickens. According to Wikipedia this was actually been the name of a real person. This disappoints me. Or does it?

"The etymology of 'coming'. 'Cum'. Is it the place to be?" The circumstances under which I had this epiphanic question aren't as incriminating as one would think. Driving home from work, I heard the word as a double entendre in a song I was listening to. It got me wondering, was achieving orgasm dubbed "coming" because actually achieving orgasm was THE place to be? The be all end all of human existence? I'd like to think so.

"What would it feel like to touch one of those glowing blue bug zappers?" Seriously. Are we talking first, second, or third degree burns? Electrocution?

"When animals base needs are met, does evolution accelerate or slow? Are there different rules for humans? If so, are they the fruits of our 'superior intelligence'?" This is the question that came to mind when my car lurched to a stop just feet away from hitting the painfully retarded, giant wild turkey that used to menace the office park in which I spend far too much time.