Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Mess With Moose.....Get My Horns

Mrs. Bridezilla,

I won't bore you with the details of any consensus that was reached regarding your display of discretion and class, or lack thereof, the evening of your daughter's wedding. I will speak only for myself. Don't bother writing Moose again. When I picked up the mail yesterday and noticed your return address on an envelope, I intercepted your card. I have not shown it to her, nor will I.  I'd prefer she waste no more time thinking of you and your family, wondering if a benign indiscretion (during which she didn't act alone but for which she apparently does bear the brunt of your blame) could have possibly "ruined" your daughter's wedding. 

I would also like to clarify a point of contention: There was never any drink thrown at anyone. It is curiously even plausible for a person fighting with a bartender over NOT being served a drink to be able to throw one. It would seem the possession of a drink would negate the reason for the argument, no? Mr. Bridezilla's an attorney. Ask him for further explanation if my logic confuses you.

I can assure you Moose does regret arguing with the bartender/innkeeper over a drink . I find it interesting, however, that you are so eager to disregard a friendship which spans back through high school based upon the lies and/or exaggerations of someone you met over the course of planning this wedding, and all without even soliciting a response to these spurious allegations.

They say those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. After your eavesdropping and ranting exploits, unbefitting the parents of any bride, I cannot fathom a reason you would feel compelled or justified in writing a letter to Moose. Again, I won't bore you with the details of your behavior. You were there. It is at least plausible you remember them.

Again, speaking only for myself, I wish your daughter and her new husband nothing but long lasting happiness. I just wish I hadn't gone through the trouble of attending their wedding. It is my feeling that the embarrassment is squarely yours.


Best Wishes,
Seamus 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is fantastic. Very nice. Did she let you mail it?