My [first] 4

As I am rendered speechless when faced with the daunting task of creating a list of the 25 greatest stories in sports of the last 25 years, I'm going to take a path of least resistance and try to make a list of 10 moments that, for one reason or another, I remember here and now at this moment. Funny how easily and eagerly I berated USA Today's list, yet admittedly struggle at the thought of conjuring up my own. Even still, whatever dickhead wrote that crappy list does this sort of thing all day every day and for a living. I am afforded no such luxury.

I'm not going to even try to put them in any order.

1. In 1992, the Penn State Nittany Lions went to South Bend to take on the Fighting Irish. At the time, I wore Adidas Samba Classics not because I was remotely interested in playing indoor soccer, but because they resembled the Adidas cleats Rick Mirer wore that year. This made pretending I was Notre Dame's signal caller for countless hours in my front yard exponentially more authentic. I even looked the part... or so I thought. But I digress. With no time left, the Irish scored a touchdown to come within a point of Penn State. I believe, though I could be mistaken, it came on a 10 yard scamper from Jerome Bettis. As the snow continued to fall in South Bend, it became apparent Notre Dame would be going for the two point conversion and the win...

Rick Mirer dropped back to pass. The pocket collapsed almost immediately. Flushed out, Mirer ran to his right, toward the sideline, but also away from the line of scrimmage. I was young, but I recognized broken plays. This was a broken play. My heart sank as Mirer threw a purposeful wobbler toward the back of the end zone. Reggie Brooks, who had been streaking along the back of the end zone in the same direction as his quarterback, dove, fully extended, and caught the pass.... And the crowd roared...and the band played...and so it goes

2. In the 2001 MLB playoffs, Derek Jeter came out of no where to intercept and flip to Jorge Posada to get Jeremy Giambi out at the plate. This was quite possibly the singular most spectacular baseball play I have ever seen. It had it all; the perfect combination of context, anomaly, timing, and pure athleticism.

3. In 2003 Derek Jeter's momentum brought him crashing into the stands after catching a foul ball down the third baseline. The play was amazing. Complete disregard for his own well-being. What makes this play memorable enough for my top 10, however, is the ensuing battle royale. I was at Mussolini's apartment watching the game with Mussolini, one of her roommates, and one of my best friends (who happens to date said roommate). Although Mussolini does not care at all for the Red Sox, or sports in general, she likes to pretend she's a fan when it suits her purpose/to piss me off. With the help and support of her friend, she started in on me by way of Jeter. "Oh my god! Oh my god! What a pussy?! He could have stopped! He didn't have to dive into the stands. He wasn't even running that fast!" she raved with a disgusted look on her face. Having already weathered the usual shit storm of BS Red Sox fans usually spew- throughout the game up until that point- I was at wits end... I snapped.

I started by screaming about how she and her friend couldn't comprehend how difficult a catch like that was because they, as girls, had never pulled off anything remotely athletic before. I could see the fear in her sidekicks eyes. She knew they'd pushed me too far. As I turned angrily to my loving girlfriend, however, my gaze was met not by fear or remorse but an equal and opposite fury instead. It got ugly. It went on and on. She touched upon the fact that I only played high school football. I responded by reminding her, and everyone within ten blocks for that matter, that playing women's college lacrosse for one season doesn't constitute a sport because women are, by nature, inferior to men in terms of athletic ability. I'm pretty sure I referred not to "women" so much as I referred to "broads".

This episode ended when I stormed down the hallway and out the door of her apartment, slamming the door behind me. We reconciled two days later.

4. The Giants second Superbowl victory in 1991 (1990 football season) left an indelible mark. I remember watching the game at the home of a family friend with my father and his buddy (who would later become my confirmation sponsor...I renounced Catholicism at the dinner directly following the ceremony). This family friend actually wore Giants' colored tiger print pants. Phenomenal. Remember those things? I remember Mark Ingram's huge third down reception, having caught the ball yards short of the marker, the way he danced back and forth to allude defenders. I remember with how pain Bruce Smith swiped the ball out of Jeff Hostetler's hand and out of bounds for a safety. I remember how Thurman Thomas couldn't find his helmet after the national anthem. How OJ Anderson's knee pads were drooping out the bottom of his pants en route to his MVP performance. I remember sitting on the edge of my seat in a silent room with two grown men who'd been drinking for hours yet managed to remain absolutely silent in the moments leading up to the Bills' final field goal attempt. As the Giants' joined hands on the sideline and Scott Norwood and the Buffalo Bills set up for that historic kick. What I remember most, though, is the smiling, laughing, the screaming and the excessive high fiving that followed that field goal attempt sailing wide right. I remember running downstairs into the basement where my siblings and a bunch of other little kids played hide and go seek in blissful ignorance.

Maybe I'll get to some more later. I need something to eat.