On my way to work recently, I had been having a reoccurring daydream. Frustrated with my current station in the post-modern life cycle, I was thinking of a way to parody the morning commute monotony.
The original purpose was to convey the apathetic frustration I have come to know well since college graduation. My original vision played out with Will Ferrell as its protagonist. At lunch today, however, I found a much more suitable star. And by "more suitable" I mean extremely well endowed.
You see, this friend of mine is renowned for the size of his member. We lovingly refer to it as The Baby's Arm. It has been likened to a french cruller holding a plum. This friend of mine takes the bus to work every day. This friend of mine also happens to be extremely forgetful. It's a perfect fit. It really is.
The scene:
Our mid to later 20's professional awakens in his apartment, ambivalently pounding the alarm clock off. He'd like to break the thing but then he'd have to buy a new one. The shot cuts to various morning pleasantries. Tooth brushing gives way to a shower, followed by a grapefruit breakfast (and hearty helping of vitamin C) in front of the television and SportsCenter. The alertness normally associated with the waking state is never fully attained. Actually, it's 3 hours and two cups of coffee down the road.
After getting dressed, he saunters out the front door and walks toward the bus stop. The camera shot never includes anything below the waist. Upon his arrival at the bus stop, he leans up against a telephone pole and groggily casts his face upward toward the sun. A pathetic attempt to soak up some of the rays he'll undoubtedly miss as he withers away in his capitalist dungeon. Those around him either stare in disbelief or simply take a handful of steps away to distances they perceive as safe.
The camera shifts its gaze to the bus as it decelerates, gradually lurching to a complete stop. Only just before this takes place, we hear the terrified screams of our young professional. It is the first time he's made a sound. The camera angle changes so that we can see him no longer standing up against the pole, but at attention, bent at the knee, and in excruciating pain. He has no pants on. His phallus, though blurred out, has been run over by the bus that was to take him to work.
And....scene!!!
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You should make sure to have the front end of the bus to bounce upward, like it went over a speed bump right as is runs over the babies arm. Then, when the ambulance comes and picks him up they have to attach a trailer to the back, where we see a long cloth covering what looks like an anaconda coming from underneath the protagonist's long blue business shirt. Then end with the doctors in the emergency frantically doing surgery, then the camera pulls out on we see these towels draping over something from the operating table and out the door. The camera follows the "anacondo under a towel" out the operating room door and all the way to the waiting room, where Kev-o sits sedated in a chair.
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