Cavernous Navel

Does this pandemic have special meaning for Kosher Jews? Was this prognosticated by the Old Testament? Was the whole purpose of Kosher an anticipated defense for THE chosen people against this horrible plague at this moment in the history of mankind??? Probably not. The Kosher aversion to all things swine is probably just as stupid as it has always seemed.

"I do not always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis." What? So because this flaky Spanish guy who goes hiking in a tux, once played jai alai, and once had an awkward moment "just to see what it would feel like", that DOESN'T DRINK BEER OFTEN, drinks Dos Equis when he does, I'm supposed to feel compelled to do the same? Please, I'd much rather heed the beer advice of some couch potato who's never heard of jai alai and doesn't know how to spell tuxedo. I'll never drink another Dos Equis for as long as I live.  

The other day, on the television that adorns the wall of the deli I've come to frequent recently, CNN played the most egregiously obscene "news" segment I have ever seen in my entire life. How this was not immediately diagnosed as staggeringly stupid, if not racist, is beyond me. Basically, CNN transparently cast a black anchor/correspondent that I'd never before seen, but who apparently had the requisite "swagga", to sit down with a bunch of Al Sharpton clones to discuss what it is about President Obama that made them so sure he was a "brotha" with "swagga" in spades. As if this framework weren't insulting and stupid enough on it's own quivering legs and feet, the explanations given by this distinguished panel helped push the segment into outer space and into the heart of malignant vapidity.