Dispatch

Got here. Everything went fairly smoothly along the way... Just oh so tired - SO long.

Things got interesting pretty much immediately....

A) I get in line at customs- The "Foreign Passport" line. Some Indonesian cop comes up to me, grunts, points and gently guides me over to the Permanent Resident Line. I showed him my passport in protest. He just grunted and pointed to the spot in line where he wanted me to stand. What???? What is going on here? I waited until he walked away and moved back to the "I don't live here" line.

B) Jakarta is a sort of a terrifying place. Think movies of third world Asian cities. They're no joke. Traffic like you wouldn't believe. But not normal traffic: People driving crazy... motorcycles literally crammed in every inch of space left by cars.... And ME on the back of one of them!!! I'd never been on a motorcycle before, and I pretty much loved it. Except when I was 100% certain every 30 seconds or so that I was about to be crushed beyond recognition from both sides by insane chain smoking indonesian men in giant SUVs. BUT, like I said, being on the back of a motorcycle is really fun, and rather romantic. Wahyu and I literally rode off into the sunset on it.

C) Wahyu takes me to his house. (Wahyu is an Indonesian guy I know from my school...he'd been visiting the states for the last 2 months (he has done work for the school in Indonesia for the last few years). His mother has prepared a TON of food, and it is on display all over the house. No one speaks English except Wahyu, but I meet the fam. Everyone is incredibly friendly. I just wish I could talk to them without Way interpreting.


Two little nieces were asleep on the couch. When they wake up their grandma brings them over to me. They stare, wide-eyed and frightened, hiding behind grandma's burka. She leans down, telling them something I don't understand, while pointing at me. All I can make out is "Barrrrrrbie, Barrrrrrbie." Wahyu laughs and says "She's telling them not to be scared because you are just a real live Barbie...like the doll." Later they told the little girls I was a princess. That was weird. Now they just peak at me from other rooms and run away if I look at them.

D) I was served boiled testicles, I believe. And I ate them. I've seen enough of exotic foods to feel like I know a teste in my dish when I see one. Wayhu's mother knows about 5 words in english, and one is "EAT!" She follows me around the house screaming it.

E) I have to shower. Wahyu tells me, "our bathrooms are different than yours," and naturally I respond, "Yeah, I'll figure it out." I'm no dummy. I go into the bathroom. WTF??????????!!! There is a faucet sticking out of the wall about mid femur height. But just open to nothing... The bathroom floor. Then there's a sink, a big one, but it's filled to the brim with water. Then there is another sink-looking thing on the ground. But with a toilet-esque hole in it. But nothing to flush. A bucket on the edge of the giant sink. What the hell am I supposed to do??? There's no toilet paper or even a trash can in sight. Thank Christ I didn't have to do anything serious. Apparently you squat over the hole, do your thang, and then use the bucket thingy to splash water on your parts until they are clean. Then you use the same bucket to rinse the squatty potty until whatever you produced eventually sinks down the hole.

As for the shower.... I just crouched under the faucet and showered all over the bathroom floor. Who the hell knows if that was right. Princess Caitlin is here from America everyone!!!