Coming Soon

Juneau II

Though technically not a sequal due to spelling differences, watch as the far right appropriates 2007's surprise hit movie, making it entirely their own. If you thought Juno was preposterous, wait until you see this. You can rest assured, there will be no whimsical trips to the abortion clinic this time around.

This film is not yet rated and will play exclusively on CNN and FoxNews. Don't miss it.

Music

Santa Barbara Radiohead Webcast (full show)

Fiasco: "Oh You Horny Monster"

Their MySpace.

Elliot Brood: "The Bridge"

Mr. Brood's MySpace.

Dissin' Franchises

The Democratic National Committee apparently decided it made sense to open their convention with a prayer.  This is merely the latest in a string of back-peddling, centering gestures that have seen me gradually retreat from the excitement I originally felt at the prospect of Barrack Obama winning his bid to become the forty-fourth presidency of the United States.  Visceral rage now tempered by conversations with the like-minded individuals in my cabinet (which convenes infrequently at best and usually via cell phone), I'm not merely disenfranchised (back where I started).  The framework of their assurances had loomed beyond the reaches of my comprehension yesterday when I first learned of the prayer.  These assurances - to a degree - have steadied my modest political hand.  I wish the democrats (notice I abstain from referring to them as "my party") could embody diversity and tolerance through dogma and policy rather than an apparently essential dog and pony show.  At this point, the  institutional turmoil having been cast aside by the results of the primary election (and unwittingly giving way now to ego-maniacal in-fighting and consequent media frenzy), the goals are now changed.  No longer are democrats anointing their presidential candidate from amongst themselves.  Currently targeted are the skeptics wavering inexplicably on the fence.  Currently targeted are those historically republican voters, hopefully so frustrated by their party's dogged stubbornness that their vote is now up for grabs.  

It is here that we all find ourselves: subjected by the puppeteers to all the disingenuous posturing that the "objective" media can shell out (funny how none of them appear to be on the fence).    

Amen.

CHECK THIS OUT!

These guys are actually using Game Boys as synthesizers to make music.  

Why Michigan's in Trouble

When women and young children watch football on television they consistently ask the same question:  Why are they running the ball directly into the heart of the defense when there's all that open space to the outside?  For anyone who has ever played football at any level, the answer is relatively simple: By stacking the line of scrimmage, having some variation of two running backs, one or two tight ends, and modest spacing between offensive lineman, you can be relatively sure the defense on the other side of the ball will sport a similarly condensed formation.   This narrowing of the field favors whomever is bigger and stronger by decreasing the importance of speed.  The closer a defender is to a blocker when the ball is snapped, the easier it will be for the blocker to block, or to at least to get to his assignment and occupy his attention. As a defender, you cannot make a tackle when you're being blocked, and, more often than not, you cannot make a tackle soon enough even if simply occupied.    

At some point, having encountered bigger, stronger defenses with very little or no success, a coach somewhere reluctantly, and perhaps inadvertently, heeded the advice of football novices everywhere. If I recruit more speed on the offensive line and at each and every skill position, I can spread out our formations, utilizing one back sets, empty backfields, and numerous receivers.  So equipped, defenses will have to spread the field, taking defenders outside of the box and into open spaces.  Having created bigger gaps in the defense, I can get my faster players the ball in those open spaces before the defenders get there.   

This has proven boundlessly successful.  We needn't look very far for some prime examples. Urban Meyer has already won a national championship at Florida with the spread offense. West Virginia, under Rich Rodriquez, put on offensive showcases on the ground and through the air by utilizing this approach.  So much so, in fact, it got him the job in Ann Arbor. Big time college football is big business, however, and defensive coordinators don't make big bucks for hopelessly wringing their hands.  The more successful and prevalent an offensive scheme, the more attention it will get from defensive masterminds.  And the process has already begun. Larger defensive backs are being moved closer to the line of scrimmage at linebacker, larger linebackers moving to defensive end, and larger defensive ends sliding over into interior linemen.  

Michigan will undoubtedly struggle this year without the speed to adequately execute Rich Rodriguez' spread offense.  By the time his recruiting classes have graduated from high school and are enrolled at Michigan, defenses will have caught up.  Make no mistake, the spread is not better than other more traditional offenses.  It is superior, however, against bigger, stronger, slower defenses.  In terms of $ucce$$ off the field, Rodriguez made the right decision by fleeing West Virginia for Ann Arbor.  On the field, however, he'll be having an ideological crisis in the not too distant future.  Only then will we see what kind of coach he is; one who is able to fine tune his spread offense with some of the X's and O's it isn't known for, or a coach who will struggle to readjust in his quest to return Michigan's program to greatness.