Doodly plip plop time is an occasion I had always assumed, though perhaps imlicitly, I'd never make eye contact with another person.
I should preface this story with a little background:
There is an elderly gentlman who works for the property manager of my office building. He drives around the property in a golf cart, putting orange cones in inconsequential locations, and wandering the building looking for burnt out light bulbs. He also happens to wear Blueblocker sunglasses rain or shine, outside and in. Weird guy. Ultimately harmless....or so I thought.
Yesterday, I went to the bathroom to doodly. So there I was, minding my own business, when a commotion in the doorway caught my attention. I closed my left eye and peered through the door hinge with my right to see what was going on. It was Blueblockers. It was Blueblockers carrying a ladder.
As he set the ladder down, almost leaning on my stall, I tried to relax. Surely he knows I'm here. He's not going to change the light directly overhead. That's a direct violation of bathroom ettiquette on every planet.
As he climbed up the ladder, I began to perspire, panic.
"Eeeehemmmm," I cleared my throat, "hey."
"Hey," he responded gruffly as our eyes met through the brown lense of his inappropriately named sunglasses.
Blown away, my eyes shot to the ground in front of me. Ass clenched, I sat, frozen, as dust and peices of the ceiling fell in my hair.
Haven't pooped since.
3 comments:
It is such a weird environment to be in with other people. You are doing something that everyone else does, but it seems odd/embarrassing to do with other people around.
I really don't like it when I have laid down a stinker and then I walk out to someone I know. Sucks.
-Ed
You ever go into the bathroom in your office and have someone else come in a sit down in the stall next to you? You have a general idea of who it might be by their shoes, yet there remains an air of mystery. Splashes and farts ensue, and the most you can hope for is that your identity (or his) isn't revealed at the sinks.
growing up i had this friend who could only do the deed in his own bathroom at home, no matter where he was when nature called, he'd just take off....i can only imagine what traumatized to the point of leaving a perfectly good street hockey game to drop a deuce but now i know....BLUEBLOCKERS!!!!
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