This never would have happened before

A friend of mine teaches at a prep school for the economically paired. When he was in town last week as a chaperone for Model U.N. he made some sartorial choices that you'd expect of a New England prep school teacher; button-down shirt, tie, sweater, blazer. Though it made me sweat just to look at him, he looked good. I can only assume he felt good as well.

Several of us went out to dinner in the Back Bay. Good food surrounded by at least modestly good people. As is customary, the several drinks we had with dinner left us unsated. We walked several blocks to another bar, carrying on as though our youths weren't about to make their first appearance in our rear-view mirrors.

As we pulled seats up to a table and waited for our drinks to arrive, I looked around, taking a little inventory of our surroundings. This certainly was a Back Bay bar on a Friday night. The bar was filled with people our age or older, dressed to the nines like d-bags and d-baguettes. I tried not to dwell on this, opting instead to focus on the various topics of conversation we were nimbly navigating amongst ourselves.

Worlds collided minutes later when a woman in her late 30's, perhaps early 40's, approached with a question for the educator extraordinaire among us. "Hey. I like your tie." She said this without averting her gaze from him. "Hey, your tie. I really like it. I'll trade yah my undies for your tie?"

We all guffawed (2 parts uncomfortable, 3 parts incredulous, 2.5 parts this-is-awesome[?]ness). Eventually, it became apparent to us all that this little exchange wouldn't really be an exchange without a response. I slowly turned my head in his direction. He had a look on his face not unlike that of a lamb unsuspectingly tossed into the cougar pen at the zoo. But also kinda like a lamb who was trying to play it cool. "No thanks," he smirked.

"That was relatively painless," I can remember thinking to myself.

Two minutes later this same woman emerged from the ladies' room and strutted across the room and back to our table where she dropped her underwear on the table right in front of the object of her affection.

A collective gasp. "Is that really your underwear?" Marty wondered aloud. "It looks kinda big," he added, twisting the dagger.

Presumably embarrassed, she snatched her undies off the table and scurried off into the darkness never to be heard from again.

Spam

This blog has been getting a lot of spam comments lately. As I reserve the right to either accept or reject them, the comments that are irrelevant to the [shitty] content presented here don't usually get posted. The most recent one was too good to ignore though. It actually made me laugh. Helps if you read it aloud with some kind of accent (because accents connote ignorance and stupidity, right?).

Anonymous said...
Hello, as you can see this is my first post here.
I will be glad to get any help at the beginning.
Thanks and good luck everyone! ;)

It's probably a virus. But whatever, I'm rolling on a Mac here.

What is....and what should be

How come all of my nicest clothes aren't waterproof? Not only are they just not waterproof, they're actually destroyed when they get wet. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't 'nice' clothes be durable? It might help you feel better when you're trudging through the rain to think about how overwhelmingly miserable I am when I'm in the rain. The truth is, rain doesn't even bother me. Unless I'm commuting to or from work in it. Then, I'm practically bursting at the seems to break something or kill someone. This morning I was so pissed I smashed my umbrella in half just outside the threshold of my office building. This is especially pathetic when you consider I purchased the umbrella a half hour prior, just before getting on the bus.

Two entries ago I drew your attention to a Broken Social Scene song, new single off of their new album, which I believe drops May 4. Get on it. I haven't been this floored by a new song on the first listen in as long as I can remember. Actually, you can probably find that very sentence on this blog several times over the last couple years if you were inclined to look. So is this hyperbole? Yeah, but let's not split hairs.

Spike Lee

This is one of my roommates from college, presumably at some rugby related shindig around Halloween time last year. Are you kidding me? Seriously, are you kidding me? This is the greatest picture that's ever been taken. Done. Case closed. Every picture you've ever been in or even seen sucks. This is it. This is the Sticky Fingers of pictures. It can't be improved upon.

Unbelievable....You can thank me later

Read This

We Were Promised Jetpacks

It's Thunder And It's Lightnin...

Neither here nor there, but I think what bothers me most about Facebook is the fact that it's a forum for insecure people to try to prove to everyone how happy and secure they are. I'll sign on while I poop at work and always end up angrily wiping my ass, shaking my head and cursing to myself about some stupid shit someone I know well, barely know, or knew once posted as their status.... Did I just say that out loud?

I went and saw We Were Promised Jetpacks at the Middle East last night. I wasn't floored, nor was I pleasantly surprised like my sister and wife both were. I actually got mixed signals from Mackin between his incessant chattering in my ear during songs and the way this was punctuated by a jubilant bouncing around. I got what I expected I suppose. For a $12 asking price, it was well worth it. WWPJ is pretty straightforward. Truth be told, I'm not sure how excitable I'd be if their music weren't couched in a thick Scottish brogue. Catchy, brooding, earnest, angst-y, and sometimes aggressive, if you were to catch me with headphones on at any point over the last several weeks, chances are I was listening to These Four Walls. "It's Thunder and It's Lightning", "Roll Up Your Sleeves" and "Quiet Little Voices" were personal highlights, as was their closer, Mackin's favorite, "Short Bursts". With only one album under their belt, their set was understandably short. I did find the fact that they declined to come back out for an encore a little disappointing.

For the record, I still heartily recommend These Four Walls.

Get LOST

I’m befuddled. I like to tell myself this show is ultimately about its individual characters and their moral/ethical quandaries, which is largely responsible for my loyal viewership, but I’m just as often scratching my head and wondering what the hell’s going on as the next guy. Through a certain light, however, it's almost like the time travel, the mystical island, and now the parallel realities are just unique backdrops for character driven story telling. At least this is what I tell myself when my confusion almost becomes frustration. What’s compelling now with this new flash sideways wrinkle is we're able to see what these characters may have done and become if the plane had never crashed.

• Fake Locke brandishes at least two knives when he's in the giant foot with Ben after kicking Jacob into the fire.... In the flash sideways Locke's knives never arrive at LAX in 2007!
• Not everything is the same in this alternate 2004 without the crash. Michael, Walt & Vincent weren't on the plane. Hurley’s happy and considers himself the luckiest man on earth instead of cursed, Desmond’s on board for some reason, during the turbulence Jack is reassured by Rose and not the other way around as it happened originally when the plane crashed. Boone couldn't convince Shannon to leave Australia.
• Where is Jack's father, Christian? Maybe on board the wrong plane that ends up crashing on the island with all those new others on it? I don’t know.
• I think Desmond knows more than he appeared to have let on in his brief interaction with Jack.
• The mirky water wasn’t clean, as they said. Sayid is now Jacob. The island's headed for war.
• Jacob and Fake Locke? No clue. One guy seems to espouse the idea that people make things bad while the other thinks they’re inherently good… but Jacob has blood all over his hands.
• One of the new 'others' was the stewardess on the plane that gave jack the vodka… the others we’ve only seen on the island. Presumably the timelines converge at some point and/or the new others arrive on the island between 2004 and 2007? Maybe another plane crashes? Where did those other people come from? They seem pretty settled.
• They showed the island under water when they fly over it in the “crash never happened” scenario. WTF?
• Weren’t there cars in trees on the island in past seasons? Or something that shouldn't have been in a tree? Or something that suggested the island had been under water?

Still here... barely

Check this out (sent my way by Ted Neldshmeim).

Then this (from Rycree).

From Pat.

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